


say it to me now

by twohourstraffic



Series: take this sinking boat and point it home [14]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Future Fic, Interviews, M/M, Multimedia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6850117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twohourstraffic/pseuds/twohourstraffic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Which Classic Jack Zimmermann Quote Are You?</i>
  <br/>
  <i>You got: “Eat more protein.”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>An oldie but a goodie. You’re quintessential Zimmermann, in the best way possible. Rewatch the SNL sketch, read the articles, eat some protein. Ride on, our awkward prince.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Or, Buzzfeed loves Jack Zimmermann.</p>
            </blockquote>





	say it to me now

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place in my _take this sinking boat_ universe, but you definitely don't have to read one to read the other. All you need to know is they have two kids. It's pretty self-explanatory.

**Which Classic Jack Zimmermann Quote Are You?**

**You got: “Eat more protein.”  
** An oldie but a goodie. You’re quintessential Zimmermann, in the best way possible. Rewatch the SNL sketch, read the articles, eat some protein. Ride on, our awkward prince.

 **You got: “The boys played a good game. Well, not that good. We lost.”  
** Jay-Z, telling it like it is. In case you’ve forgotten the context of this quote: the Falcs fought tooth and nail but the Pens were just too strong on the night. Zimmermann was visibly shaken and this was the extent of what journalists could get out of him. Luckily, chatty teammate Alexei Mashkov came and took over, giving the world a brilliant quote in the process: “They have Crosby but we have Zimmermann. In cheekbone contest, Zimms will win.”

 **You got: “I’ve got a good group of guys behind me and they’re giving it all they’ve got.”  
** Subtle innuendo? Check. Immediate blush? Check. Zimmermann’s best friend obviously losing his shit in the background? Check. The pinnacle of locker room quotes.

 **You got: “Yeah, well. Maybe he’ll try next time.”  
** Fucking vicious. Enough said.

 **You got: “He played with my boyfriend. In college. Hockey.”**  
Readers, we will never be over this. Picture the scene: Jay-Z has spent a year in recovery from an unnamed incident, and has now made his way back to the NHL with a tattoo, a sick haircut and a gorgeous BF. Chris “Chowder” Chow, everyone’s favourite goalie, has just been promoted to the Falconers’ main team. When asked for his thoughts about Chow’s new role, his first response is “He played with my boyfriend”. We waited for clarification. “In college.” We had questions. “Hockey.” Our hearts were broken. Gold.

 **You got: “I won’t be taking any further questions. Unless they’re about hockey.”**  
WHAT ELSE WOULD THEY BE ASKING ABOUT? ZIMMERMANN, YOU FRUITCAKE. Although, whatever you want to say about this boy, he does love hockey.

 

* * *

  **16 @jackzimmermann Tweets That Are Too Great For Words**

> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Hello! My husband has been trying to get me to make one of these for a long time, so finally here I am. Looking forward to sharing all my wi
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Apparently there is a character limit. That was ‘wisdom’.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Help. Someone taught my son the word ‘check’ and now he just yells it every time anyone bumps into anything. #hockeykids
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Bonne Fête des Mères Maman! Happy Mother's Day Mom! I don’t know what I would do without you. #lucky #grateful #blessed

NB. Yes, J-Zimms occasionally breaks out an unironic #blessed. If Alicia Zimmermann was your mom, you would probably do the same.

> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** I know it’s probably blasphemy (sorry @TheFalcs @NHL) but #GOHABSGO
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Thanks for all your congratulations. My dad keeps sending me moving pictures, which is pretty cool. #falcsforthecup
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** @ericbittle We need milk.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** My daughter says that if I win this I will be the cooler dad. Help me? #NHL28Zimmermann
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Always nice to go home to Montreal! As you can see, my kids are repping the Habs #traitors #socutethough
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** If you haven’t checked it out yet, @ericbittle runs a pretty great blog. Go have a look? He posted a recipe for peach pie today.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** @daveyjones18 Happy birthday, man. My friend says to say ‘dat hair doe’. Hope you appreciate. #thefalcs
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** @jarrodsmithNHL Happy birthday, man. One of the best D-men we have, plus his kids are great. #thefalcs
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Please help me my husband won’t stop baking and I have a nutritionist breathing down my neck.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Big home game today! Can’t wait to see you all there in blue! #LETSGOFALCS
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** Oh my god where did that little picture on the end of the #letsgofalcs come from
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
> ** @ericbittle what is a twitter emoji
> 
>  

* * *

**Seven Things You Didn’t Know About Jack Zimmermann**

Posted on October 16, 2029 at 2:46 p.m.  
By Natasha Jones (Buzzfeed Staff)

It feels like we’ve always known about Jack Zimmermann. The son of model/actress Alicia Zimmermann and hockey legend Robert “Bad Bob” Zimmermann, we’ve been hearing about him since that famous picture of him with the Stanley Cup from before he could walk. He disappeared for a few years, but now he’s back and better than ever – two-time Stanley Cup winning captain of the Providence Falconers, mental health advocate, married to a New York Times bestselling author with two kids and an ass that just won’t quit.

Buzzfeed Sports Reporter Natasha Jones talked with Zimmermann about his besties, eating more protein and _The Princess and The Frog_.

 

**1\. He’s not a huge fan of nicknames – for himself**

**NJ:** I feel like everyone in hockey has a nickname, but apparently Zimmboni didn’t come around until you hit the big leagues.

 **JZ:** [laughs] Everyone tried to give me one in college. My best friend did his best to make Jay-Z stick for a while, but it just didn’t happen. I was happy just going by Jack, until I got to the Falcs and Tater [Alexei Mashkov] gave Zimmboni a go. I don’t mind it – I think I just feel like a Jack. People can call me whatever they want, of course, but I’m not really a nickname guy.

 **NJ:** But, I’ve noticed in interviews and things, you don’t always call your husband by his first name.

 **JZ:** [laughs] On one of our first dates, over ten years ago, my husband asked me to call him by his nickname. I guess it lasted longer than he intended.

 

**2\. He loves his husband _so much_ , you guys.**

I cannot describe how much Zimmermann’s eyes light up when he’s talking about his husband. For those of you who don’t know, he’s been married to Eric Bittle, author of _Easy as Pie_ and regular columnist for the NYT, for about eight years now. Their lives with their two adorable children are documented on Bittle’s blog, Easy As Pie, as well as his Instagram @ericbittle and his YouTube channel. Seriously, go check them out now. I’ll wait.

 **NJ:** How is married life going? Being a father?

 **JZ:** It’s amazing. I try not to talk about it too much, as I’m sure you know, but … it’s great. Eric is amazing, our kids are amazing. I was never sure that I was going to get to have it all, but somehow I do? It’s strange.

 **NJ:** How so?

 **JZ:** I think I was just so lucky to find someone who complements me so perfectly. Eric is so good at pulling me out of my own head, keeping me focused on what is important. And I’m good at the smaller details, the day-to-day stuff. Between us, we keep the wheels on. Plus, we have an amazing support system – between my parents, his parents and our friends, our kids have a huge family. And Bitty – sorry, Eric – is really such a great father. He’s endlessly patient. I am in some ways, but he’s the one who has to deal with the daily minutiae. Which have only increased since Noah came along, of course. He’s honestly incredible. I’m so lucky to have him.

 

**3\. Going to college was the best decision he ever made.**

**NJ:** Instead of being drafted, you famously took some time off and then went to Samwell to do a History degree. Looking back, do you think it was the right thing to do?

 **JZ:** Without a doubt. That was a really tumultuous time in my life, and I needed something to ground me. Samwell had a really great hockey program, plus my mom went there. It gave me something to do with my brain, I made some friends that talked about stuff other than hockey, I was able to find out who I was … It was some of the best years of my life.

 

**4\. He’s much more impressed with his best friends than they are with him.**

**NJ:** What do your friends think of your NHL success? Are they impressed?

 **JZ:** Impressed is a big word. I think that they’re pleased for me, but … you know, I’ve always played hockey. I don’t think anyone was surprised that I ended up doing this. I’m not sure what else I _could_ do. Plus, they’re all so much more impressive than I am. I get to play sport for a living – it’s the greatest game in the world and I’m so lucky to get to do it, but it’s just a game at the end of the day.

 **NJ:** What sort of things do your friends do? I’m sure most people would assume that your social circle is just colleagues from the team.

 **JZ:** Oh, not at all – I mean, I get along so well with the team, they’re a great group of guys – but my social circle is mainly college friends. We’ve got a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer, an artist … it often feels like they’re changing the world in ways that I’m not. But I guess we all bring different things to the table.

 **NJ:** I think you’re selling yourself short.

 **JZ:** Thank you. But it really is just a sport.

 

**5\. His favourite animated movie is secretly The Princess And The Frog.**

**NJ:** Your children [Gabi, 6 and Noah, 1] are absolutely adorable.

 **JZ:** [smiles] Oh, thank you. They’re pretty great.

 **NJ:** When I was getting ready for this interview, the biggest request around the office was to find out what your favourite animated movie is. We’re guessing you’ve seen a few of them.

 **JZ:** Oh, gosh. I’ve seen more than my fair share, and I’m sure Gabi will have words with me if she disagrees with me. My son thinks The Wiggles are the height of entertainment, so I’m sure he won’t mind too much. OK. Is it cheating to have several answers?

 **NJ:** Not at all.

 **JZ:** Well then … OK, I have to include _Beauty and the Beast_. That artwork is so legendary, I don’t think Disney will ever top the ballroom scene. Oh, _The Lion King_ , just for the opening scene. _The Princess and the Frog_ , for the message. You know, you can wish on stars but that’ll only take you so far. And the music! ‘When We’re Human’ is such a great song. I’ll never complain about having to watch it. Um… _Meet The Robinsons_ is so underrated, it’s a great film with a great message. And _Inside Out_ is definitely up there. It helped us explain some pretty complicated concepts to Gabi, which was greatly appreciated.

 **NJ:** It sounds to me like your favourite is _The Princess and The Frog_.

 **JZ:** I didn’t say that. [smiles]

 

**6\. He stands by his ‘eat more protein’ advice.**

**NJ:** Do you mind if we talk about ‘eat more protein’? 

 **JZ:** [hides his face in his hands, laughing] If we must.

 **NJ:** We don’t have to if you don’t want to.

 **JZ:** No, it’s OK [emerges from hands] I swear that this is going to be my legacy. It was probably fifteen years ago by now, but people still call to me in the street. My husband actually brought it up the first time I met him. I don’t think my kids know about it, but it’s still a running joke with my friends.

 **NJ:** Do you think it was bad advice?

 **JZ:** Oh, no! No, I think it was good advice. It _is_ good advice. Humans were originally hunter-gatherers, we were designed to run off plants and meat. In this age of convenience food and stuff, I think that people forget that our bodies need the basics. Fruit. Vegetables. Some dairy.

 **NJ:** And protein?

 **JZ:** [laughs] And protein.

 

**7\. He’s got all sorts of plans for his retirement at the end of the season.**

**NJ:** So, what’s next for Jack Zimmermann? From what I’ve heard, this is your last season with the Falconers. Is this retirement?

 **JZ:** It is. I mean, it’s time. I’m 38, I’ve been playing hockey for probably 35 years. My knees are starting to give out. [laughs] Plus, I feel like I’ve done my best work. May as well go out on a high note.

 **NJ:** So what are your plans?

 **JZ:** Oh. Um… [pauses] Is it sentimental to say that I want to spend more time with my family?

 **NJ:** Not at all!

 **JZ:** I’ve missed so much, being on the road or at games. I want to be able to put my kids to bed and be there in the morning when they wake up. Drop them off at school. See my husband more. And my friends! But, bigger picture? I’ve always loved photography. I might try and do some of that. Read all the books I’ve been meaning to read. Spend more time on the ice with my daughter. Be there for more of my son’s milestones. Just … everyday life, I think.

 **NJ:** That sounds nice.

 **JZ:** It really does.

**Author's Note:**

> Georgia made Jack get the Twitter account. Bitty reminds him to Tweet every few days, but he basically runs it himself. It's much more stream-of-consciousness than you might imagine.
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://murrayhewitt.tumblr.com) if you so desire :)


End file.
